Yes I have a girlfriend. Unimaginable I know… He, who has been certain for a while that a relationship shall not exist between thy self and a lady, for the time being at least, has softened and opened up to the possibility and its encapsulating mystery.
How did this happen exactly? Why now? 42, is that not the answer ;) D. Adams aside, it pretty much came down to an expansion of self was in order. The simplest way to expand myself, or for anyone too, is to be outsize of my comfort zone. The things that have opened up for me over the last 7 days has been great. I now have an ease in which conversation flows that was previously inhibited by my thoughts and false expectations (appearing real).
Anyway, over the last couple of weeks I’ve been thinking about going out with people I’ve not been out with and making new friends. These thoughts involved going to a movie, dinner, or to the shops, something social and fun. The predominate person in these thoughts was of course Lucy, at this stage it was purely as a work friends type thing and I’d ask Tane & Keta if they’d like to come with.
Then on Tuesday “Are you coming to dinner on Thursday?” umm not sure yet. I knew of a dinner happening I just wasn’t exactly invited directly, it was just automatic that I was invited so to speak. Oh and then “Hey Nick, Barb is going to ask you if Cynthia & Lucy can stay at your place on Thursday night….” right what an opportunity. Fact was Lucy did attract my attention; before this week though I was absolutely not going to have a girlfriend or even attempt to go that way, so I resisted and ignored all that. Until Thursday night that is. I knew Lucy had a thing for me, I’m pretty aware of what’s going on around me, what I didn’t know about was all the hesitance and fear sitting in her lap when she came over to say hello and attempted to interact with the brick wall that was metaphorically separating us. You see she really liked me and had since day 1 when she met me a year ago, and this was really the best time for her to find if her feelings were reciprocal. I didn’t exactly make this straight forward for her :P
Fast forward through dinner, getting home, watching “What Happens In Vegas” and finally Cythina going to bed, here we are alone in the living room left to it at. The conversation becomes easy and soon we are dancing in conversation. Now my plan had always been for her to sleep – as in zZzZ – in my bed beside me. There is something nice about being close to someone like that, a sense of connection or belonging that I definitely felt was a missing for me. So, I start to play my hand to ensure this happens.
The following didn’t occur to me till after the fact;
What is a way that would establish a level of respect and trust that would naturally lead to my end goal?
How about a nice massage? I bring up this topic and after feeling her out, graciously offer to give her a massage, smooth ;) We go into my room, I make her comfortable and ask her to lay head down with her top off. While she got herself ready I stepped out of the room to get a glass of water. I hadn’t given anyone a massage for a while and was looking forward to getting my hands working. I am a healer and I feel a pull to do activities like massage around most people, I’m usually afraid to offer though. Another thing for me to get over.
By the time I’d finished it was 5.30am, yeah we weren’t going to get much sleep, in fact we didn’t go to sleep at all. After the massage we got under the covers and thought briefly about sleeping, she was cold and I invited her to come closer to me. I wrap my arms around her and soon she was warm. We continued to talk and eventually she kissed me, it was great, warm, tender and all that good stuff.
Then it was 7.45am, time to get up, get organised and head into the office, good thing it’s only 5 mins up the road :)